Would You Stay In A Relationship You Were Unsure Of?…Hmmm

How long do you stay with someone when you’re no longer sure of their feelings?

He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not. I’ve never been one to question whether or not I have feelings for someone, but I can’t say the same thing about questioning if someone has feelings for me.

I know when I’m in love – I just know. There’s no doubt in my mind that whoever I am with is the one for me. I’m going to give them everything I have for as long as I can, because that’s what you do when you’re in love. You don’t give up. You spend every second you can putting a smile on their face, or picking them back up after they’ve fallen down. You make sure they know how much you care for them, that there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for them. You love them, and there’s no doubt in their mind that you do.

As fate would have it, I’m in a relationship right now where each day I’m left questioning whether or not my boyfriend really loves me. He says the words, but his face and his actions say something different. I feel like I’m struggling to breathe around him when I try to make him laugh or ask him what he wants to do that night. I’m fighting for us, but I just feel like it’s a battle that I’m going to ultimately lose. Are relationships supposed to be this hard?

It didn’t used to be this way. I remember the days when he run up to me in the hallway at office just to say hi. People thought we were fools, but I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. I had someone who loved me, and I loved him back. We’d hold hands even we were sitting next to each other, he’d call me just to say hello when he was thinking about me, and he told me that there was no one else in the world who could make him feel the way I could. But that’s over…

Now, I wake up in the middle of the night wondering if today is going to be the day that he ends it all. When I’ve addressed the changes in our relationship before, he just got angry and yelled, “Of course, I love you!” and stormed off away from me. That didn’t feel like love, not the kind I once knew with him. There’s a part of me that wonders if I should just end things now. I don’t want to be weak, and I certainly don’t want to be walked all over. But how do you give up on someone like that? We were so good together once, who says we can’t get back to that happy place?

I guess in the end I’m just left wondering if you should stay in a relationship that you’re unsure of? How do you know you’re not wasting your time or theirs? All I want is love, to be in it and to know that it is true.